Gah! Which Way?


I’ve found myself at a crossroads and I don’t know which direction to take.

A few weeks ago, I saw a tweet asking if anyone was looking for an administrative position. Knowing this person worked at a local university, I asked if the position was with the university. The reply was “yes,” so I took the conversation out of the public view. I made a few inquiries about the position, the department, and the people, and whether I could confidentially share my resume. I was asked to officially apply and was scheduled for an initial interview which went well enough that I was scheduled for a second interview to be held with the department Chair the following week.

I didn’t stress at all about the first interview. It truly helps to interview for a job when you have a job. The second interview, however, was a completely different story. The more I read about the Chair, the more nervous I got as my interview time came closer. By the time we sat down to talk, I was a nervous rambling mess. The interview went so quickly, I thought for sure I blew it.

Moving on to the next week, I begin to resign myself to the fact that I blew the second interview and that they were moving forward with another candidate. And then I get the email: You are our finalist and we need your permission to talk with your current administrator. I, of course, need to talk to him first to let him know that this call is coming. I am surprised that he actually encourages me and things it would be a good move for me.


[I should probably also throw in some background that I’ve been fortunate to have only two employers in my lifetime and have 27+ years in my current department.]

Moving forward to this week, I hear from two of my references that they were contacted. That leaves just one more reference for them to hear from … the main physician I support who is only at our location on Fridays. Late in the afternoon, he calls me into his office to tell me that he had a message and asks me how much do I want the job. Awkwardly, I explain that I haven’t received an offer yet, but that it might be a good opportunity. I apologize for not  giving him a heads up about it (I didn’t realize they would contact the references my application rather than the references I had provided on paper).

So moving forward to tonight, I can’t stop thinking about what I am going to do. Do I stay in my current position, where I have built good working relationships with my physicians, where I know my job, and I have autonomy and flexibly? Or do I take a leap of faith at the new position, which will be a promotion, have better University benefits, and will take me in a different direction.

As I recently joked “I don’t do well with disconnecting.”  But I keep telling myself that I need to think about what’s best for me and what’s best for my kids. I just need to figure out what that “best” is.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me? The Office Edition

Happy Monday folks!

A co-worker shared with my cubemate that she got engaged over the weekend.


Yep, that’s right. I said four months to the day of when they started dating.

D A T I N G !

Co-worker is older and has never been married. She and her new fiance recently decided to move in together, even though she just bought a new townhouse last Spring. She has made comments that “he better put a ring on it” when she talks about her upcoming move into his house.

Are you ready for this? He was engaged to another woman not too long ago, and I believe it may have been over last Summer (2013). I don’t know the details about their split, but I do know that relationship was a long-distance (different states) one.

Granted, my cynical bitch side has eyerolled all day about this news. It’s exciting when people choose to commit to building a life together with someone. Having been married, divorced, and a few unsuccessful relationships under my belt, I don’t have any desire to remarry nor do I have a timeline of how a relationship should progress. But isn’t four months really quite fast?

[I realize when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you know it. I just don't know that things should be so rushed. (says the woman whose on and off relationship hasn't changed much AT ALL over the past six years, ahem)]

Dinner Conversation


“We had more fun this year on the cruise as not-a-couple.”

“This was the best cruise for me because I had you all to myself.”

Enlightening …

Road Trip!

I’ve had tickets to go see my favorite band Red Wanting Blue at the House of Blues in Cleveland since they announced a weekend of shows last October. I didn’t plan to go to both nights of shows (Fri and Sat), but definitely purchased tickets for me and Vampire Boy for Saturday night.

I reserved a room at the The Arcade, a hotel right across the street from the House of Blues. I wasn’t confident about my car making the drive from Pittsburgh to Cleveland so I also reserved a car at the airport.

We were a little late in getting started to the airport to pick up our rental, but we were finally on the road by 1:00. Since I was heading to Cleveland and Vampire Boy loves food, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to take him to Melt Bar and Grilled.

An added bonus of my trip to Cleveland was to FINALLY meet in person someone I “virtually” met a number of years ago. J was able to meet and join me for lunch at Melt, and then gave me a quick driving tour of the frozen lake while showing me the way back to my hotel.

This was my awesome lunch. I was only able to eat about half of the one half!

Melt Bar and Grilled

The Dude Abides: homemade meatballs, fried mozzarella wedges, rich marinara, provolone & romano

We had less than an hour to drop off our bags at our room before the doors opened at the venue. I didn’t have time to explore the hotel, but they were setting up for a wedding.


It was really nice to just walk across the street to the venue (and would have been awesome had I been imbibing in adult beverages).

After dropping off our bags, laying down for a disco nap (but too excited to sleep), and refreshing my makeup, it was time to head over to the House of Blues. J was able to find a ticket (it was a sold out show) to join us. (Sadly, he wasn’t able to stay too long after officiating most of the morning.)

After two opening bands (who I didn’t care for), it was time!


Red Wanting Blue | House of Blues 

These guys played for over 90 minutes and had TWO encores! I loved how they threw in some really old stuff (that I haven’t seen performed live) as well as one of their new songs (new album coming out soon!). They’re also going to be on The Rock Boat (but sadly, Vampire Boy doesn’t get to go this year which is why I took him to Cleveland to see them).

I spent a lot of time driving this weekend, but it was totally worth it! A great lunch, meeting a virtual friend in real life, a great show, and getting to spend some quality time with my son! I’m an exhausted but happy gal.

The view of the city and the frozen lake

Introduce Yourself!

nametagHi! Thanks for stopping by!

I’ve noticed over the past few weeks that my views have been increasing.


So please, say hi and introduce yourself! What brings you to visit?

A review of ‘search terms’ for the past 30 days shows me the following:

breakup quotes 27
break up quotes for her 3
i am here for you quotes 2
quotes about breaking up 2
quotes about relationships being hard 2
quotes breakup 1
the break up quotes 1
quote on break off 1
black relationship quotes 1
getting over a break up quotes 1
breaking up relationship quotes 1
acquaintance vs. friend 1
break up quotes for boys 1
almost breaking up quotes 1
break off quotes 1
relationship ends quotes 1
breaking up quotes 1
Unknown search terms 108

Lots of unknown search terms, but lots of people finding my site when searching for break up quotes. As someone who has muddled a number of relationships over the past 13 years, I’m sorry that I don’t have any magic words to share with you. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You have to learn as you go. We’re all making mistakes along the way, but do your best to not take advantage or hurt others.

Some good advice from my therapist (who I still hear in my head when I’m trying to work something out): “Always do the best that you can with the information you have.”


So back to the original purpose of my post.

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. What brings you to visit?

Gender Poems!

The Female Poem

I want a man who’s handsome and strong

A man who will listen carefully and long.

One who thinks, before he speaks.

One who will call, and won’t wait for weeks.

I want a man who is gainfully employed,

And when I spend his money, won’t be annoyed.

A man who holds my arm as he opens the door

And massages my neck as he asks to do more.

I guess what I want is a man who loves to the end.

A man who will always be my very best friend.


The Male Poem

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac

with huge boobs who owns

a liquor store, a bowling alley,

a big fishing boat, and a golf course.

I know that doesn’t rhyme,

but I don’t give a sh#t.

If you actually recognize the day, Happy Valentine’s Day!

[Reprinted from my MySpace blog, 11/19/2006]


I’ve read that “forgiveness is not something we do for OTHER PEOPLE. It is something we do for OURSELVES to be able to move forward.”

But for me, forgiveness is one of those ‘easier said than done’ tasks. If you’re one who tends to hold grudges (I am), how do you let go of the wrongs and move on, especially when trust is involved? How do you move forward when the guilty party hasn’t found the courage to talk with you directly about the issues that caused the distrust in the first place?

I don’t struggle with thoughts of forgiveness when I’m committed to hibernating at home. When I’m home alone, I can stew in my angry thoughts. I run into trouble when paths cross socially.

I’m trying to figure out just what exactly I want and whether I can let go. If I expect others to change and grow as a person, I should challenge myself to do the same.

Friend vs Acquaintance vs Leech (i.e., Fake Friend)

Definitions provided by

friend (noun)

  1.   a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
  2.   a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

ac·quaint·ance (noun)

  1. a person known to one, but usually not a close friend.
  2. the state of being acquainted.
  3. ( used with a plural verb ) the persons with whom one is acquainted.

leech (noun)

  1. a person who clings to another for personal gain, especially without giving anything in return, and usually with the implication or effect of exhausting the other’s resources; parasite.

Are you aware of those who surround you? Do you strive to be the best type of friend you can be?  Do you nurture your relationships with others?

Friendships around me are crumbling which prompts me to sit back and evaluate my relationships with others. It makes me sad to realize that some people don’t realize the wedge(s) they’ve caused over the past year. Quality over quantity — It’s better to surround yourself with a limited number of people who are real friends, rather than be surrounded by numerous people who will use you because they currently don’t have anyone better to leech from.

While I can’t control how others feel and are made to feel by so-called “friends,” I can limit my exposure to the toxicity caused by others.


2013 Annual Report

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 20 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

2013: The Year In Review

When I look back, I feel like 2013 fell into the “unlucky 13” category. Events from this year have felt more challenging than fun.

Highs from the year:

  • Vampire Boy turned 18 (where have the years gone?!)
  • For his birthday/high school graduation present, I took him on The Rock Boat (it was an awesome trip!)
  • He did graduate! (woot!)
  • I sent my first born off to college (holy crap, I’m getting old!)
  • OBX vacation with good friends! (thanks to Flawed Memory for taking me!)
  • I road tripped with friends to see Red Wanting Blue (seriously, I <3 this band!)
  • Conference in New Orleans (I <3 NOLA!)

Lows from the year:

  • Car issues, both mechanical and accident-related; tickets for expired inspection (totally my fault); and the car has been running like crap since the summer
  • Relationship issues (having a more ‘off’ than ‘on’ year)

Hmpft, how about that? When I sit down to think about all that happened over the year, the list of highs is longer than the list of lows (although both the car and relationship shit was a bit (::cough, understatement, cough::) overwhelming this year). They say “that which doesn’t not kill you makes you stronger,” right? At a few points in 2013, I wondered if I could keep my sanity while tasking my way through the challenges that life was throwing at me. And here it is, December 31, and I made it through the year!

So here’s wishing you a longer list of highs from 2013 and a happy and healthy 2014 filled with new fun and adventures!

Happy New Year!

A toast to the new year!


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